A REAL Husker fan:
1. Will never accept mediocrity. Perfectly fine going 4-8 to avoid being 9-3.
2. Knows firing a coach is always the answer. If the Huskers aren’t beating everyone 49-0, somebody needs fired.
3. SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS. BECAUSE ALL CAPS IS MORE PERSUASIVE. OBVIOUSLY.
4. Is an expert on the 3-4. Googled it, read up on it for 5 minutes and knows it DEFINITELY won’t work in the Big Ten.
5. Will never watch another game again. Until next week.
6. Has at least two premium message board subscriptions. How else are you gonna get worked up over unsubstantiated rumors?
7. Knows the starting QB needs benched. Always. Why have backups if you’re not gonna use them? Duh.
8. Tweets recruits.
9. Completely loses their shit and acts like 3-year-old on Twitter if Nebraska loses a game. Bonus points if they comment “100% on the coaches” on every game-related post for a minimum of 3 hours after the game.
10. Will pretend they didn’t talk all this shit once we’re good again. Strong delete game.
