4-D CHESS: Inside Colorado’s Revolutionary ‘Plan’ to Win Football Games With No Players


In a masterstroke of strategic planning, Deeon Sanders and the University of Colorado’s football program have unveiled their latest, most audacious blueprint for success: winning games without any players. Colorado fans, initially bewildered by the mass exodus of players from the team, now stand in awe of the sheer ingenuity behind this avant-garde approach to college football.

The cunning plan, dubbed “Operation They Ain’t Comin’,” hinges on the opposing teams’ utter confusion when facing a gridiron devoid of Colorado players. As adversaries scratch their heads and frantically search for non-existent opponents, Colorado’s invisible presence will stealthily rack up victories.

An anonymous source within the program revealed, “We’ve been studying the great military strategist Sun Tzu, and one of his core principles is to ‘win without fighting.’ We’ve taken it one step further: win without playing. It’s pure genius.”

Even more groundbreaking is the new training regimen for the remaining players, focusing on the art of invisibility. Rigorous sessions involve perfecting the ability to blend into the sidelines, mastering the synchronized vanishing act, and developing telepathic communication to coordinate plays without ever stepping onto the field.

Fans have embraced this unorthodox strategy with enthusiasm, already designing new merchandise celebrating the team’s invisible prowess. One best-selling T-shirt boasts the slogan, “You can’t lose if they can’t see you!”

Opposing teams, bewildered by Colorado’s revolutionary plan, are scrambling to adapt. Some have resorted to hiring clairvoyants to predict the Buffaloes’ every move, while others are brushing up on quantum physics in a desperate attempt to comprehend the enigma that is Colorado football.

Meanwhile, the NCAA is reportedly considering new regulations to address the challenges posed by the “phantom football” phenomenon. Proposed rules include mandatory on-field visibility and a ban on teleportation during gameplay.

As the University of Colorado football program boldly ventures into uncharted territory, fans and skeptics alike can’t help but marvel at the sheer audacity of the plan. Will “Operation They Ain’t Comin'” redefine the sport, or will it vanish as quickly as the players who once wore the Colorado jersey? Only time will tell.


Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

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