CHICAGO, IL — The Big Ten has officially responded to a letter from the parents of Iowa athletes asking the league to reconsider it’s postponment of fall athletics. The league issued this statement:
“To the Iowa parents, we have received your letter and want you to know we hear you. We wanted to address your concerns and let you know we ARE listening. A letter is a written message conveyed from one person to another person through a medium. Letters can be formal and informal. Besides a means of communication and a store of information, letter writing has played a role in the reproduction of writing as an art throughout history. Letters have been sent since antiquity and are mentioned in the Iliad. Historians Herodotus and Thucydides mention and utilize letters in their writings.”
The league’s statement continued for 45 pages describing the role of the letter throughout history. Controversy broke out, however, when someone noticed the statement had just been copied from Wikipedia. The league dismissed the claims, however, by posting the definition of plagiarism to its Twitter account.
According to anonymous sources, the league has reached out to Michael Wilbon and Desmond Howard to “sic ’em”. Pat Forde blames Nebraska… for everything. We’ll have more as this story develops.