TAMPA, FL — Tom Brady just revealed on Twitter the disturbing news that four nooses were attached to his cleats after he laced them up this morning. A visibly upset Brady stormed out of the facility, according to his teammates. Initially, teammates tried to console him saying the “nooses” were really just “loops”. But, Brady started screaming “Internalized white supremacy” and stomped out of the facility.
The FBI announced it’s sending 837 FBI agents to investigate the “horrific and disgusting act of oppression… uh, allegedly”.