GRAPEVINE, TX — In an effort to modernize college football, the College Football Playoff Committee announced this morning they are deserting the current “archaic method of ‘playing games'” to determine college football’s best team. Instead, they will use an “America’s Top Model” style runway walk to determine game winners, each week.
Matchups will remain the same. Scheduling will occur, as usual. But, instead of meeting on a field to play football, teams will “hit the catwalk” in full uniform in front of committee members.
Committee members will use their well-honed “eye test” to determine who is obviously the better team and vote on a winner. Early reports indicate that “uniform fit”, “mean face” and “chest-to-waist” ratio are among the preliminary scoring criteria.
Additionally, reports indicate there’s a contingent of committee members pushing for the inclusion of a “talent competition” as part of how teams are judged. No word yet if players will be asked a serious of questions as a part of the competition. Word is, SEC coaches are fighting hard against it.
Finally, most analysts are in agreement that Tyra Banks will be brought on as the permanent head of the committee, a move celebrated by nearly everyone with knowledge of the process.
Clemson, with quarterback Trevor Lawrence, are considered the early favorites in this new format.