Father Actually ‘Does Stuff With Family’ on Saturday Without College Football

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EVERYWHERE — Families across the nation have been reunited this Saturday as there are no college football games being played, no happiness left in the world, no reason for even goin– uh, yeah the games have ended.

Said one father we interviewed, “Who are these people? Why do they keep asking me to go places with them? What’s the big game, today? What? They’re isn’t any. But why? What am I… who am I… where… waaaaaaaaaahh.”

Said another, “These people are actually all right. Maybe, I should just skip football next year and spend more time with them.” Sure, Bob. We’ll see ya next season buddy.

Bed, Bath and Beyond and Home Depot have been overrrun with “families smiling and s!@#” while many local bars have been forced to close their doors.

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