Former Navy SEAL, Damian Jackson, Earns Blackshirt. Also, Unanimous Winner of “Man I Never Want to Meet In a Dark Alley” Award

LINCOLN, NE — Former Navy SEAL and current Husker football player, Damian Jackson, was awarded his Blackshirt Tuesday morning. Speaking on the matter, LB coach Barrett Ruud said, “He’s been staring angrily at me for weeks and it was freaking me out. Last week, he started grunting at me. And then, this week, he started running his thumb across his throat every time he looked at me and I was done. We just gave him the thing and, now, he’s all smiles. Thank God!”

Garrett Nelson, Jackson’s close friend and another newly minted Blackshirt echoed Ruud’s sentiment, “Oh yeah, he was gonna hurt coach if he didn’t get it. Nobody f!@#s with that dude.”

The move is not without its critics, though. Some have questioned giving a Blackshirt to a player whose only recorded two career tackles. Lincoln native, Jeff Dumas, had this to say, “Nope. Eff you, man. I ain’t sayin’ s!@#.”

In related news, Jackson was also awarded the “Man I Never Want to Meet In a Dark Alley” award in a unanimous vote by everyone, ever. Even ESPN’s Steven A. Smith chimed in saying, “He’s a baaaaaaaad man!”

Twitter
Reddit
Facebook
Pinterest
Email

Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

Leave a Reply