Fred Hoiberg Crucifixion Set For 11 a.m., Thursday Morning

Fred Hoiberg

TWITTERVERSE — (A giant ogre beats his massive drum in the background… dum dum da-dum dum da-dum da-dum da-dum) Hear ye, hear ye. We, the High Council of Twitter Pre-Conclusions, do hereby declare Fredrick Kristian Hoiberg GUILTY of high crimes against the Twitterati, the unlawful use of corona-craft, instigation of Hoipacolypse and hatred of all puppies and babies throughout the land. He is hereby sentenced to… DEATH… by crucifixion at Mount Twitter.

Oy, but Mister… I have proof lil’ Freddie isn’t a corona-witch. I gots a doctor sayings right here he ain’t gots the gene, you see.

SILENCE PEASANT! We do not require your facts and reasoned thinking! Hoiberg is GUILTY!

Oy, but Mister… they looksed at him priors to the goings-on and saids he was okay. He can’ts be responsible for Hoipacolypse.

SILENCE PEASANT! The High Council will NOT wait for all facts to be gathered and reason to prevail. We want blood! And, we want it now! And, we shall have it!

Oy, but Mist–

SILENCE PEASANT… unless, you want to be next!


Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

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