God Reaffirms His Love for Mankind as Seahawks and Patriots Both Exit the Playoffs


EARTH — God reaffirmed his love for mankind late Sunday night when the Green Bay Packers beat the Seattle Seahawks — meaning neither the Patriots nor the Seahawks (the devil’s teams) remain in the playoffs. God had this to say on the move:

“You’ve suffered enough, my children. Your penance is complete. Let us rejoice together. But, I will leave Booger as a reminder to never forsake me, again! I’m serious, now. Don’t play with me. I can bring Jason Witten back in the both. Or, clone Joe and Troy and have them do every broadcast. I’ll put Booger back on his little sideline go-cart. Tessatore can be the OMG, IIIINCREDIBLE! sideline reporter. I will mess you up if you f!@# with me. Believe that!”


Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

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