EARTH — God reaffirmed his love for mankind late Sunday night when the Green Bay Packers beat the Seattle Seahawks — meaning neither the Patriots nor the Seahawks (the devil’s teams) remain in the playoffs. God had this to say on the move:
“You’ve suffered enough, my children. Your penance is complete. Let us rejoice together. But, I will leave Booger as a reminder to never forsake me, again! I’m serious, now. Don’t play with me. I can bring Jason Witten back in the both. Or, clone Joe and Troy and have them do every broadcast. I’ll put Booger back on his little sideline go-cart. Tessatore can be the OMG, IIIINCREDIBLE! sideline reporter. I will mess you up if you f!@# with me. Believe that!”
