Grown Man Impatiently Waits For 18-Year-Old to Commit: ‘C’mon Thomas! I NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!’

young bored business man working with is laptop

LINCOLN, NE — Said the man: “We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Keagan went to Iowa (MOTHERF*KIN IOWA!), our pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! I need you Thomas! I need to know what joy feels like again!”

Still no word… 😢

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