HEROIC: Expert Playcaller Doubles as Expert Epidemiologist Amid Pandemic

Twitter Genius

TWITTER — How lucky are we? To have the geniuses of Twitter who grace us with their football knowledge and after-the-fact playcalling during football season… now educating us all on the Coronavirus pandemic. Despite their complete lack of qualifications and expertise, they still always have the right answer. Just ask them. They’ll tell you. Or… don’t ask them, they’ll still tell you. Or block them, they’ll create another account and tell you. Thank God for these heroes. We were lucky enough to interview one of these geniuses and here’s what he had to say:

“That’s not how you ask an interview question, you moron. Are you writing that down? That’s not how you take notes. God, you’re stupid. Do some research before you conduct an interview, you idiot.”

Wow. What an amazing, thoughtful and helpful human being. Can you imagine where we’d be without these experts? Rest assured dear reader, no matter the situation we face, we’ll always have these heroes to be immediate experts on any given topic no matter their experience or knowledge on it, who will badger us incessantly with how stupid we are and what we should be doing instead. How lucky are we, indeed!


Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

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