Iowa Banner Searches Desperately For ‘Meaning and Significance’

Iowa TaxSlayer Bowl 2015 Banner

IOWA CITY, IA — Courage. That’s what one Iowa bowl game banner is demonstrating by coming forward about her struggles with mental health. “I’m just not sure why I exist”, said the TaxSlayer Bowl 2015 banner.

“Yeah, we went to a bowl. But, we were 7-5 that year. And, we lost by 17 points to a 6-6 Tennessee team. And, THAT was with 2 scores in the last 4 minutes. We were down 42-7 at one point. Like, WTF are we hanging a banner for? I just don’t get what my purpose is.”

Of course, many have chimed in offering words of support and comfort. The 2016 Rose Bowl banner had these words of encouragement, “I hear ya! Yeah, it’s the Rose Bowl, but we lost 45-16. And, we were down 35-0 at halftime. I still have nightmares of Christian McCaffrey streaking down the field for yet another touchdown. I can’t even watch Carolina Panther games without having a full-blown panic attack. So, I’m with ya. We just got stick together and be happy we even exist.”

Of course, not everyone has been so supportive. In Nebraska, the 5 National Championship banners hanging there have only offered hysterical laughter since the this story broke. Still, the TaxSlayer Bowl 2015 banner remains optimistic, “Man, at least, I’m not the 1993 Alamo Bowl banner. Poor guy!”

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