IOWA CITY, IA — The Iowa Hawkeyes announced late Tuesday evening that they’re hanging another banner in their hallowed rafters; this time for “Nebraska Offers Too Many Recruits”. Athletic Director, Gary Barta, had this to say about the Hawkeyes latest achievement:
“We’re not like those Huskers who offer everybody. We only offer like four times the amount of kids we can take, so we’re better. That’s probably why we always out-recruit Nebra– oh, we don’t? Well, our coach is better because he does more with less– well yeah, I know HE is the one recruiting, but it’s Iowa. Wait, no. I didn’t say that. I mean… We… They… BUT NEBRASKA DAMMIT!”