BILLUND, DENMARK — A truly heroic Lincoln man has taken one for the team and burned down the Lego factory… thank f!@#in God!
Fathers worldwide immediate took to the streets to celebrate the heroic move. President Trump pre-emptively pardoned the man. Pope Francis immediately canonized the man as a saint.
A GoFundMe account created in the man’s honor quickly accrued $1,765,923,376. Lego issued a statement on the incident, “Yeah, we get it.”
No word yet if the man plans to hit the Frozen 2 DVD-making facility.