EVERYWHERE — Apparently, the 100 baseball fans that exist out there think the rest of us actually care about their “sport” because they keep talking about it. “Hey did you hear about the Astros si–“
“NO! Shut up!”
“But, my favorite team just sig–“
“Don’t care. Stop talking!”
“But, what else are you gonna watch besi–“
“Anything. Literally anything. I’ll watch that stupid ‘Pioneer Lady’ cooking show 1,000 times before I watch f!@#ing baseball. Just stop. I’m getting sleepy even thinking about it.”
“You’re gonna watch the World Series, at least, aren’t you?”
“Oh yeah definitely. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Cool. Fist bump.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.”