IOWA CITY, IA — A new poll out by Gallop Inc found that, unsurprisingly, Iowa fans would rather “beat Nebraska” in football than “win a national championship”. However, beating Nebraska was not the top vote-getter in the poll. Answers receiving more votes included:
- Marry sister
- Replace rotted teeth
- Meth
- Score over 70 on IQ test
- Travel to edge of flat Earth
- Meth again
- Win at PBA
- Beat Fred Hoiberg
- But seriously, do you have some meth. I NEED it
- Not have to s— d— for money for meth
The poll had a margin of error of 76-70.