IOWA CITY, IA — In a exhaustive 3-minute press conference and extensive 2-question Q&A session, Kirk Fer– I mean Jeffrey Dahmer said he had a “blind spot” around murdering and eating people:
“Why the blind spot? I’m sure every cannibal has a blind spot, every murderer has a blind spot. The victim’s families were very forthcoming, they were very direct in pointing out things that gave me a new awareness.”
Dahmer continued, “I vow to be better. I’m convinced we all want to do the right thing” moving forward.
While Dahmer continued to receive criticism from around the country, Iowa Hawkeyes fans were like, “Okay cool. Forgiven. When does the season start? 5 straight!”