OBVIOUSVILLE, US — A shocking new report has uncovered startling new information about former Nebraska head coach, Bo Pelini: “Referees didn’t like him”. The news has sent shockwaves through Husker Nation:
“It’s all really overwhelming for me. I can’t understand why they didn’t like him. He was always so cheerful and cordial. Understanding when they made a mistake. Easy-going and fun to be around. What’s not to love?” said one Husker fan.
The report also included a number of other startling revelations, including:
- The sky is blue
- Water is wet
- Winter is cold
- Fire is hot
These revelations have sent many reeling. An emergency hotline has been set up at 1-800-NOSH!T for those affected.