Sportswriters: The REAL Heroes of the Pandemic


Consider this tweet:

Monsters! And you know what the worst part is? We brave sportswriters get no credit. All anybody talks about is “healthcare workers” and “first responders”. Everybody wants to hear want the “epidemiologists” have to say… wah, wah, wah.

Trump even publicly thanked truckers. Truckers. They just f*ing sit there turning their stupid wheel and smelling bad.

But us? Us sportswriters have been through hell. Sitting at home in our pajamas, trying to think of stuff to write about, watching Netflix. It’s been hell. Do you know yesterday I finished season 3 of Ozark and that was it? That’s everything I wanted to watch. What the f*ck am I supposed to do now?

And then! Some dweeb has the audacity to question an article I tweeted… while I’m in the middle of this living nightmare. How dare he? Why don’t you just go rip the masks off those healthcare workers while you’re at it, you monster!

We have feelings too, ya know? I know we appear superhuman, but we’re not. If you cut us, we bleed. Well, except Sipple. He actually doesn’t. Thick skin. It’s weird. Anyway, just quit being mean, okay? We’re the real victims… I mean heroes… well victims, too… uh, victim-heroes. We’re the real victim-heroes here!


Disclaimer: This shid is just jokes, homey. Ain’t real. Ahem, I mean… The content on this site is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. It should not be taken as factual or as an accurate representation of the subjects mentioned.

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