AUSTIN, TX — Texas is back! Again. No but for real this time. They beat #11 Utah, who never folds in big games. They should easily be a preseason top 10 team next year. Oh, don’t be a hater. Just, just… listen to what Tom Herman said:
Tom Herman, from the deck of a sinking ship, flipping the bird, “Yeah motherf!@#ers, we’re back! Got rid of the dead weight and look what happened, haters. We’re gonna te– gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.”
Said Tim Beck and Todd Orlando, “Wait, he’s gone, now? Does that mean we can come out from underneath the bus? Sweet!”